BBC Radio Leicester pre-recorded Thought for the Day

based on an idea from a  forwarded e-mail

© John Denney 14 July 2004

Transmitted at a later date


Don’t you just hate those telephone systems when you have to press buttons and hold on while they play you atrocious music? What if God installed one of those systems on the prayer channel…


Thank you for calling Heaven.


Please select one of the following options:


I am sorry.   All of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now.   However, your prayer is important to us, and we will answer it as soon as one of the heavenly host is free.   Please stay on the line.




For answers to nagging questions about suffering, people of other faiths, homosexuality, dinosaurs, life on other planets, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive.


If you are a theologian and understand transubstantiation, the ontological proof of the existence of God, and the difference between pre- and post-millennialism, please report to the angel Gabriel on arrival in heaven.  We haven’t a clue what you’re on about, and we’d like you to explain it to us.


Our computers show that you have already prayed today.  Please hang up and try again tomorrow.   The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.   Please pray again on Monday after 9:30 am.



Thank you for calling and have a divine day!


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